Tag Archives: Thriller


29 Sep

Here is something new: my first guest writer. It happens to be my wonderful son, Eli. He is 12 and wrote this at 1 am after I forced him to play cards with me for hours (after I drank two Bloody Marys). He’s a NATURAL at this. Check it out:



Rrrriiiiiinnnng! Rrrrriiiiinnnnggg! Rrrrrriiiiiinnnngggg! 

It was a warm October day as James Bonair woke up in his small Lower East Side apartment. As he slowly turned over his watch, he rubbed his eye with his other hand, clearing his vision. His watch, 4th generation in his family, read 6:27.

“Crap,” James muttered under his breath. He was late. He slept through his alarm clock and was woken up by a phone call from his mother. James was in such a hurry, he burnt his toast (and consequently, his tongue), used toothpaste as shampoo, hair gel as toothpaste, and shampoo as hair gel. He quickly did his tie, and ran out the door. Then ran back in to get his pants. He dialed his mother’s phone number as fast he could, while running down the street.

“Hi mom, whats up?” James said as he zipped his fly.

“Jamie! I’ve got good news and bad news.”

“Well, what is it?”

“I got you a date with a woman!”

“What’s the good news?”

“James, silly! That was the good news, Have you ever considered being a comedian?” James’ mother howled.

“Okay. Great. How did you even find someone?” James had to count which date this was on his list.

“Milly! You know from the hair salon? It’s her son’s best friend from med schools’ ex girlfriend.”

“So you’re basically setting me up with a stranger? I gotta go mom.” James said.

“It’s tonight at 8!” James’ mother yelled as James ended the conversation.

James trudged through the sliding glass doors at his office building, finally all groomed. At this point in time, you may be wondering who I am, how I know all this. Well, I’m P.R. And, I’ve been watching James for a long time. Watching his every step. If I disclose anymore information, I may be in just a tiny bit of legal trouble. P.S., there are some websites that just make listening in on phone calls a little too easy. But, back to James.